Ahh ladies and gentleman...haha jk, speaking like that is for the "other kind." I think you know what I mean by that. The homosexuals. Which is in fact why it is none surprising to me whatsoever that Ahmad uses such language. Now that that's out of the way however, let me apologize for my absence the last couple of days. It probably won't shock any of the readers out there who consistently keep up to date with my musings, that I spent the weekend as a personal assistant to Scarlett Johannson. And let me just say that I tittie-banged every last inch of her poster on my wall.
Enough modesty though. I am here to tell you dear readers that I shall begin publishing one of the greatest stories ever conceived. In fact much work has been accomplished this morning, and I hope that the other spare moments of my time might be filled with more entertaining circumstances than pandering to your pathetic and useless needs. Thus, I'LL FINISH IT AT MY DISCRETION YOU FUCKTARDS. That is all. As there is nothing else to discuss here, I shall resume the restoration of my Scarlett poster, as some of the spunk has dried on her face and given it a more radiant sheen as my spunk is known to do. However, I like my women natural and so must rectify the situation. Thus, I bid thee adieu dear reader, adieu.
Enough modesty though. I am here to tell you dear readers that I shall begin publishing one of the greatest stories ever conceived. In fact much work has been accomplished this morning, and I hope that the other spare moments of my time might be filled with more entertaining circumstances than pandering to your pathetic and useless needs. Thus, I'LL FINISH IT AT MY DISCRETION YOU FUCKTARDS. That is all. As there is nothing else to discuss here, I shall resume the restoration of my Scarlett poster, as some of the spunk has dried on her face and given it a more radiant sheen as my spunk is known to do. However, I like my women natural and so must rectify the situation. Thus, I bid thee adieu dear reader, adieu.
Hahaha, yes! Me being gay continues to be hilarious by virtue of how true it is. I am absolutely pleased as punch that in all this time you have not only contributed nothing to this site but also done nothing to improve your sense of humor or repertoire of insults. And of course, being gay is a clear sign of mental disturbance and personal devaluement, whereas a 20 year old man sexually defiling a poster, and being very proud of it, is incredibly admirable and well-adjusted.
ReplyDeleteYour existence as a human being makes me sad, and I am certain that whatever you write will be crude, offensive and unabashedly disgusting. I hate you.
You know, you started off well enough. I began to even think that if you were willing to accept your abnormality, perhaps I too could look past it and refrain from pinching your testicles into straightness. However, I now see it was folly to believe a creature as base as you, to be capable of redemption. I suppose hyperbole is also beyond your understanding, if you read with an analytical mind you would've understood that I only masturbated to the image. Read between the lines my nigga. Elsei youam willgoing beto lostrape you.
ReplyDeleteYou taught me something with that post. Other than the fact that you're incapable of writing to save your godforsaken, cock-ridden, pathetic excuse for a life (because we were already privy to this depressing--if completely expected--bit of trivia). I refer of course to the realization that you inexplicably derive pleasure from taking up exorbitant amounts of space to effectively convey zero information--perhaps even going to far as to displace genuinely useful knowledge within the crevices of our enlightened minds with your worthless drivel. It is an impressive skill, as I only knew you were capable of needlessly consuming space in the real world (which is in itself an awe-inspiring feat given the fact that you must first overcome the volume penalty caused by the negative space that is your pitiful attempt to mimic the male reproductive organ). Well done you repugnant worm. Kindly wither away and disappear before you ruin more than just my appetite.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteHmm...you taught me something as well Oliver. But first things first. Privy? Really? Are you jack fuckin sparrow here? Answer. No you're not. Instead you're just another forgettable blight infused with pale charisma and testosterone, the likes of which can only be derived behind the safety of a computer screen. However, your reply has shed light on one thing. The fact that in addition to assuming the form of animated rat semen, you also suffer from the delusion that the information posted to this blog is useful. Why else then would you consider my sparse and erratic posting detrimental to the ground-breaking ideas put forth by you and your highly esteemed colleagues? Or rather just your colleagues. As far as I can tell you have given absolutely nothing to this site, and yet still manage to count yourself among it's "authors." But wait, I suppose there was that two hour long conversation you held, discussing the futility of egalitarianism in a system dependent upon competition. Or was it just the random spewing of ideas by pretentious fucks? I forget. The point is however, that nobody else bothered to do even that, as it would've required them to listen to your "enlightened" ramblings. Bringing me to my next point. As far as generating actual interest is concerned, I think it far more telling that this particular post of mine has received the most amount of comments within three pages. Perhaps more. Despite it being "useless drivel," my words seem to incite action. And yet, maybe this is what you were getting at by addressing my "talents." I guess you're right then to suppose I have a knack for taking up space without producing any relevant "information." Poets and painters be damned for artistic expression. Not to suggest my above post was poetic or artistic in any sense, except for the fact that it exists and may be judged by whomever. Also like art, it elicits a response. Yet, I am not surprised that its presence disgusts or disturbs you in least. It is in fact an antithesis to the principles of nihilism you seem to be so fond of. Yet, what can really be expected of someone who believes the experience of visiting another country could be satisfied by viewing pictures of it online? Ahh, and here we have a contradiction. The power of art seems to have quite a hold over you. It can replace experience, and force you into a disparaging tirade against your fellow man. But your denial of it, and your inability to produce anything of greater value, tangible or not, prove you a being less than my worm. For at least I might be used as the metaphorical bait for a greater idea. You however, give little, expect much, and are both a disappointment and disappointed. So hurray for the enlightened! While I may wither away and disappear, I'll have at least laid seeds into the collective conscious of society, untraceable though they may become. You though, will have never existed, and so are immune to any words I might have regarding displeasure towards your person. Thus, I offer my congratulations once more. Deep stuff dude, keep it coming.
ReplyDelete- This is probably going a semi-rant/tangent so ,,l,, if you're going to bitch about it.
ReplyDelete"You taught me something with that post. Other than the fact that you're incapable of writing to save your godforsaken, cock-ridden, pathetic excuse for a life..." (Oliver P.)
- He's still alive :<! Also, I'd have to agree with him that his posts are more interesting than anything I've written or read on this blog. It elicits a response from us and gets some sort of discussion going. I was late to read his post, like I am with all new posts, but once I read it I recall checking every morning before my physics class (like right now) to see if there would be any new comments. I'm 200% sure I've never done this for any other post.
"...you also suffer from the delusion that the information posted to this blog is useful." (Alex B.)
- You're entitled to your opinions. You don't think the information on this blog is useful; I don't think the information on this blog is useful; Oliver might think the information on this blog is useful. Maybe you could give more purpose to this blog since you naturally have a way with words. Then again, I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than be an entertainer.
"...the futility of egalitarianism in a system dependent upon competition." (Alex B.)
- I believe this was in reference to the audio log Ahmad, Oliver and Tom participated in. I think they were talking about balancing fun with difficulty when it comes to single-player/co-op games. Maybe they did talk about competitive games (PvP) but I really doubt that since it isn't really their cup of tea. I'm not going to get into the specifics of that topic balance and competition since it would probably make a decent post for sometime in the future.
"As far as generating actual interest is concerned, I think it far more telling that this particular post of mine has received the most amount of comments within three pages." (Alex B.)
- I think this post has significantly more comments than any other post on the entire blog. I just added to it; +1 comments ftw?
- I wonder if Ahmad will be able to 1up you with any future post. He's the only one who probably could considering I know the limitations of my writing ability with respect to this audience; since this blog is predominately about reviews for games and such, I highly doubt Tom will 1up you because past game reviews haven't elicited any significant response - I don't think Tom has anything else to write about (please prove me wrong if I am). I can't say anything about Oliver.
- I guess my instincts were right. I removed my initial post for one of many reasons; one of them being my prediction that Alex would reply to Oliver.
\,,/, can't wait to read the next comment,
Eric