First of all, as to the accusations regarding my crude, crass and cruel nature, I'll have the reader's know that I regularly volunteer at the local animal shelter in order to make sure every last limping, abused creature is given the care they deserve. Of course, by volunteer I mean that I regularly abuse and harm the animals so that the shelter might have an adequate supply of animals to tend to. I mean shit...they're obviously there because they lack other purposeful endeavors...I'm simply helping their social lives out.
For those of you not aware that the last paragraph was written in complete jest, I should point that out here. Fuck you though for making me do it.
Now let's tackle my supposed lack of "accomplishments." Actually let's not tackle this because lingering on such a ludicrous idea is not only a waste of everyone's time, but is guaranteed to drop the IQ points of any who read it. I think instead it would be wiser and more practical that we just assume I have accomplished things most have not had the pleasure of experiencing even in dreams. That includes wet dreams mind you. Especially wet dreams.
I don't really feel like addressing the rest of Ahmad's pitiful and flaccid insult, so I will commence with the verbal bitchsmacking now. Like I said, expect this to continue on each day until my machine arrives. With no further ado, let me begin.
Ahmad is a man who has drank the bodily fluids of over a thousand different males.
Male rats that is. And do not be confused. This isn't cerebrospinal fluid (the shit that protects the brain) or blood, or anything even remotely badass like that. It is quite certainly semen. That is what I'm getting at. He drinks rat semen. Constantly. The dude is a one man cum guzzling army, and despite the fact that in his wake are about a thousand content and pleasured rats, it does not excuse him from such a dirty shameful habit. Fuck him. Read his reviews though. I don't think whatever disgusting habits he maintains in his private life should reflect upon the quality of his writing or the opinions he holds on various different topics. It just reflects on the fact that he's a dirty dank disgusting excuse for a human being. That I still accept and love regardless of the fact.
Once again I am faced with the task of putting forth a rebuttal to the simpering, inane ramblings of a self-aggrandizing man-child. Oh, no matter how deep, mature and insightful this man's semen jokes may be, I assure you they are anything but. I also ask you, dear reader, to, as painful as it may be, re-read this man's article. Notice how he actually does nothing to argue my criticisms other than claim they are false? Notice how the bulk of his writing focuses on my alleged addiction to rat semen, as if that should in any way disprove any of my prior comments? Notice how you, the people he is attempting to convince of his maturity and intellect, are actually insulted in the third paragraph? Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you, ignore the nonsensical ramblings put forth by this sad, simple man. His hiring was a mistake indeed, and one I fully intend to prevent in the future.
ReplyDeleteAddendum: On a final note, BITCH, you ain't updated shit since Wednesday. Where the fuck was the rest of your so-called "series of insults?" I know you got your shitty little laptop on Friday, so what the FUCK happened on Thursday?! Too busy not doing shit to keep your goddamn worthless promise, that's what asshole. Next time you come over here tryin' to fuck with me, best check yourself c*nt, 'cause I ain't about to deal with your faggotry no more! Eat a bag a dicks... actually, no, 'cause I already know you love to do that shit for fun. Keep proving to yourself how inept you really are fuckweed, it seems to come so easily to you anyways...