Ahh ladies and gentleman...haha jk, speaking like that is for the "other kind." I think you know what I mean by that. The homosexuals. Which is in fact why it is none surprising to me whatsoever that Ahmad uses such language. Now that that's out of the way however, let me apologize for my absence the last couple of days. It probably won't shock any of the readers out there who consistently keep up to date with my musings, that I spent the weekend as a personal assistant to Scarlett Johannson. And let me just say that I tittie-banged every last inch of her poster on my wall.
Enough modesty though. I am here to tell you dear readers that I shall begin publishing one of the greatest stories ever conceived. In fact much work has been accomplished this morning, and I hope that the other spare moments of my time might be filled with more entertaining circumstances than pandering to your pathetic and useless needs. Thus, I'LL FINISH IT AT MY DISCRETION YOU FUCKTARDS. That is all. As there is nothing else to discuss here, I shall resume the restoration of my Scarlett poster, as some of the spunk has dried on her face and given it a more radiant sheen as my spunk is known to do. However, I like my women natural and so must rectify the situation. Thus, I bid thee adieu dear reader, adieu.
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